Reflections on Marriage: Part 2

Christians in many ways have been relegated to the margins. We are seen as intolerant and negative. And in part perception is reality in this case. We are seen as against gay marriage, against premarital sex, against this false religion and against that religion and we are perceived as only negative in our argumentation and public discourse that it is a wonder anyone is converted. (Not really because it is God who moves them to repentance.) Shouldn't we rather be the ones who lift up the positive example and present the right way to live, not by our words only but by our actions? Shouldn't we, those who were once dead but have been made alive by God through Christ (Eph. 2) be the advocates of true marriage, and right relationships in all areas of life and not just the enemy of the wrong types of marriages or relationships? I believe the answer is yes and this way of living is to reach beyond the current issues surrounding marriage into every aspect of our lives, or it should anyway. And I also recognize that just saying we should live better to win people to Christ is in some sense meaningless. The question then becomes how? Well I think Christ has given us clear picture of how to deal with the outside world and yet still uphold the truth. I watch a show called House and in it there is a oncologist who constantly is dealing with patients who are dying, and in one episode the other doctors make a comment that he is the only doctor who can tell someone they are dying in such a way that they thank him afterwards. I think Christ had that ability and I think we should too.

In the Gospel of John there is a story of a woman at a well. Most of you know the story but I urge to go a read it again. There are also the stories of the woman caught in adultery and Zacheus the thieving tax collector. Notice the tone in which Christ addresses them. Notice that they are convicted just by being so near to Christ and by speaking with him that he never speaks directly about their sin while at the same time making it evident that they were indeed sinners who were in need of repentance. Christ walked and spoke with such grace and compassion that people couldn't help but be convicted. Even those who rejected what Christ said, i.e. the rich young ruler, felt convicted about the way in which they lived their lives. But what you will never see is Christ berating someone for their sins, and if you are thinking of the Pharisees and Christ turning over the tables in the temple, those who were condemned were self righteous people, people who put themselves forward as an example of perfection and shamed those who were not like them (something by the way Christ never did in dealing with the outside world). The woman at the well and Zacheus did not portray themselves as good or just but rather humbled themselves before Christ. We should not only try and follow Christ's example, but I believe it would do us good to follow their example as well and walk in humilty before all people.

So maybe instead of trying to change the culture or "legislate morality" we try to change the way we speak to and treat people, or they way we speak to and about our own wives and husbands, and we, by the grace of God and with the help of those around us, uphold that which is true and right and good and beautiful and let that be the tool of conviction. Love covers a multitude of sin and we are called to love God first and then our neighbor as ourselves. And Christ loved without justifying wrong behaviour. And in his words, "Go and do likewise."